Time to Publish

Photo by Julie Michelle Photography

I wrote this little sketch back over the summer.. But I just discovered it this morning and i think it brings the kind of visual confirmation I've been looking for of a time in my life that has passed.



Love never fails to disappoint.

Love is an illusion, I think I see it when its not really there..

Love is a myth, I've only heard stories of its power and beauty..

Love makes me sick, choking on your bathroom floor..

Love makes me weak, trembling and limp in your arms..

Love makes me strong, picking myself up again..

Love makes me wise, walking out your door forever.

I'll Be Anything

Take me far and wide,

Just please never lie to me..

I'll be different, I'll be sane,

I'll be anything you want me to be

As long as you can love what's underneath.

Embrace my skeletons and demons,

See the chains and set me free,

The key is in my pocket.

You could be the place I hide,

You could fill that space inside,

You could be my comfort,

You could be my Poe,

I can make it by myself, I know.

But life would be brilliant by your side....

Yellow Diamonds

I wrote a poem the other night.. and after 2 weeks, I still like it. So here it is:

I sit on my roof
looking out across the darkness,
filled with farmland and lonely roads,
- to the city
scattered along the horizon.

Silence lengthens the distance,
- and the million yellow diamonds
litter my dreams
with their secrets and promises
seducing me and beckoning me

and I know I belong there.

A Poem From 3 Years Ago

Words

Have you ever stood in front of a mirror and stared at yourself, saying your name over and over again until none of it seemed real? You're name, who you are, what you were doing there in the first place. Its all foreign and you don't belong to any of it. Then you're suddenly scared as if you've lost something you should have never been playing with... You feel alone and frightened that you don't belong there. At all. And then you're worried that you don't belong anywhere. You're a nobody. Nothing. A John Doe. Your heart races and you can't breathe. White noise fills your ears until reason takes over and calms you down. Reassuring you that you're somebody that belongs somewhere. It was silly to think that you didn't have a name. At that point, you might feel nervous or even embarrassed as you look away, but you're still left with that lingering thought that just one little word could mean so very much to you....

Some Stuff <3

Here's an old poem I uncovered recently, its not half bad so I decided to post it.

And this is a photo I took with my cell phone on the train to LA.

One More Time

She could never seem to form the words to tell

How much she missed and wished on.

Tonight her fingers will trace the old scars

Her throat is sore and her lips tired

But she'll play the song one more time

Just one more time, turn the volume up

Put it on repeat and mouth every word

If it will only turn her eyes black once more

Dripping ink onto blank letters

She'd never dream of sending

Forming words she'll regret in the morning

But this one last time is all she needs

Coffee Shop Reflection

You used to drink gourmet at The Coffee Shop
Now you just get Starbucks because it's cheap & easy.

The Countdown

Ten fingers shaking 

Nine days not eating 

Eight nights awake 

Seven tries to reach you 

Six shoulders cried upon 

Five voicemails left for you 

Four days spent in bed 

Three nights till I see you 

Two polaroids torn down 

And one heart thats breaking. 

~vjs

Love

Stabs the heart

Leaves no room for mistake

Leaves no room for change

Leaves you short of breath

Eyes open to the ceiling 

Or pressed to the pillow

It sears the mind

Constricts the chest

Forgives nothing

Forgets nothing

Wants for nothing

Burns everything

Remembers everything

Changes everything

Mothers on a Park Bench

Six mothers - old and young

Sitting on one park bench

Huddled close for love, for warmth

They twitter and chatter

Watching their two sons

Playing in the grass

"Noah don't push your baby brother!"

The child stops and stumbles back

"See? Now God is pushing you"

They twitter and chatter

Karma is balanced again

~vjs

Rain in Los Angeles

I walk outside and today

The world is beautiful and harsh

A mother beating her children

And crying

Because she loves them

Because she has to

~vjs

The Angel

She's with the Angel

Laying in his arms

Finding rapture in his scent

And praying for deliverance

Waiting on his words

She looks up to the heavens

And his eyes paralyze her

Her heart freezes

As his lips drip smoke

Swirling down to her ears

Clouding up her mind

She thinks, he thinks

"Heaven is not too far off now"

~ vjs

Sepia - a poem

Its one of those nights

where I feel like laying

on the pavement and

letting the street lights

turn me into sepia tone

Letting the sound of cars

and people become a 

dirty blanket for me to

drift into oblivion - drift

into nothing - drift into the

universe for lack of a 

better place to put myself

Maybe the loud and never-

ending nothing will take me 

violently, like it did that night

on the bridge over the freeway

- and maybe I'll feel your 

arms and chest surround me

and we can fade into sepia

together.

vjs